The changes wrought in us by Lady Eclipsia playing on repeat can leave us feeling all alone. We stand at the precipice anew, our wings still sticky and our fear still churning, as we contemplate taking the next leap of faith. In this strange new landscape we are not who we once were. We have been forged and filed, beaten into a new outline and fired again, crafted into a truer shape by forces greater than our trembling or our fight.
Stay true to what is settling into you now. Protect it and explore it, allow it to teach you how it has been part of you all along. Integrate it, in small bite sized pieces, one at a time and chewed well. Expect the resistance or oh so helpful instruction from those less invested in your evolution than they are in your status quo. Your shift is part of theirs too and equally unsettling. Feel perfectly free to ignore any exhortations to get over it, forget about it, move on. All in good time, my pretty, not in should time.
Take long moments to drink in the shattering beauty of the place you now find yourself encroaching upon and the enchanting new abyss that begs your exploring. You will meet new travellers along the way who will fill your aching spaces with their light and not ask too much about your fresh scars. You will turn corners that reveal more than you had hoped and expand again, more than you dreamed possible.
As the year drains away you will catch glimpses of the person you once were but do not chase her down. Let her instead curl inside you and watch as she too finds her place in your brave new world.
But I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.
~ Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
Photo @digernes of Trolltunga, Norway.
Topping the bucket list right now.
Words © Kerrie Basha, 2018