That old chesnut. By its very nature, refusing to forgive hooks us to precisely the stuff we’re trying to overcome and then move far from.
We cling resolutely to our anger – and the fight – because it feels like forgiving the transgression condones it and lets the perpetrator off lightly. Our very real desire for justice to rebalance the scales is all too often a thinly disguised hankering for vengeance, which will only drag us down not forwards. Unforgiveness sits in every cell of our bodies like poison and thus we are the one who feels its toxic effect more than anyone else.
Unforgiveness does not hold anyone except you to what happened, as the story plays louder on repeat. Your righteous indignation dissolves into a murky victimhood. The silent seething player in the blame game, unforgiveness is a bitter bile to keep swallowing and invites only festering resentment to infect our weeping wounds.
None of this leads to overbloodycoming or healing. Mostly it keeps us coiled, steals our vital force and the energy required to heal. So riddle me this darklings and scribble as furiously as you still want to.
Who is not forgiven?
How does this effect them?
How does this effect you?
Repeat for everyone on your shit list. Yes all of them.
Our empathy is the path to forgiving those who have wounded or scarred us but we mostly withhold it from those who clearly need it the most. We mostly learn by example. They cannot and will not ever feel the damage the way we did. We emerge the victor by letting it fall softly behind us. By bringing only what we learned with us as we make our way forwards, so we never have to limp through it again. Repeat offenders earn their banishment from your beautiful life. Forgiveness finally and utterly sets you free.
Gather ye scribbles while ye may. You may like to revisit or add to the revealing scrawl of the past two days. This is the drag, the pullback of the slingshot. No point also jamming our baggage into its sling.
Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.
~ William Arthur Ward
Watch this flaming space for tomorrow’s dark moon ritual.