When was the last time you had a good cry? A proper ugly cry, all tears and snot and strange noises in the back of your throat as your body is finally allowed through the locked gate of your heart.
Do you ever really truly allow yourself to feel deeply into all that you have been trying to ignore for so long and just let yourself howl?
Tears for the pain that still takes your breath or the great grief that won’t just leave already.
For all that has been lost or ruined, screwed up or destroyed.
For the terrible guilt you carry so bravely or the hot shame that still stings after all these years.
For what is now lost or gone away.
There are all too many ways our hearts get broken, as this life (and too those who inhabit it) challenge and push us, hurt and punish us, love us and leave us too soon. In the face of our pain, with all those plates still spinning and balls in the air, we too often try to maintain our stiff upper lip and push those feelings down into our body, hoping our quivering voice or wet eyes don’t give us away.
Emotion is energy in motion and it is supposed to flow, to move through us and be released. Tears are one of the best ways to do this, which is why the impulse to cry often accompanies our peak emotional experiences. Tears are simply the overspill, beyond what we can carry.
This life we wrangle constant change and myriad lessons. Nothing stays as it once was. As we constantly walk between worlds space is unceremoniously made for the new, over and again. There is a very real grief that accompanies attrition and it demands to be honoured. Let tears water the soil you are tilling so that beautiful new blooms may grow.
And if it feels too sore to touch, too hard to go there, too old to bother or like once you start you may never stop, know that your clever tricks only delay the inevitable and fester unshed. Cultivate your tears and the blessed relief they bathe you in.
You have stood strong for long enough. Every so often, it is okay to crumple. Let that old stuff go with your tears until there are none left. Repeat as often as required, sans explanation or apology.
Cry you a river.
This post dedicated to all who got the have-a-good-cry card over the last week or more. Yes, every single glorious one of you 🙌😭💃
Perfect art by @hheininge via Instagram
Words © Kerrie Basha, 2017